you exhibit or have done any of these things:

1. If, on a job application, under "Previous Employment," you've listed weight training and under "Hobbies" you've listed your actual previous employment.
2. If you've ever made yourself so sore that it either takes you a full minute to sit on the toilet or you have to fall down onto it.
3. If you've been banned from one or more all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants.
4. If you've ever broken a bone and tried to "train around it."
5. If you're buying a home and the first thing you look for is where your training equipment will go…not how big the kitchen is or if there's a furnace or running water indoor plumbing or anything secondary like that.

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Try ONE of these tonight when you're at the gym. It's best to be slightly subtle (though none of these stunts could be considered subtle) – do only ONE at each gym outing!

1. Fill an empty vodka bottle with water and use it during your workout.
2. Wear a helmet. I think you'll find that people will give you a lot more room when you're lifting when you walk in with head protection (especially when you do overhead lifts!).
   
3. Pick up the 2-pound dumbells and proceed to lift them like you're doing the hardest set in your life. Scream and strain like you're pushing it to the limit. The larger you are, the more effective this one will be.
4. Load a tremendous amount of weight onto the bench press bar, e.g. 500 to 600 pounds. Make a big production with your preparation, lie back on the bench, then, just as you are about to lift the bar off the rack, your watch alarm (previously set by you, of course) should go off. Look at your watch, shake your head, unload the bar then move onto your next exercise. The smaller you are, the more effective this one will be!
   
5. Do actual squats in the squat rack. You may have to wait for a few people to finish their barbell curls but the strange looks you get when you start squatting in the squat rack will be well worth it.

These zany gym stunts were thought up by Nick Nilsson, creator of The Best Exercises You Have Never Heard Of.

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